The Third Stage: Pupa (Chrysalis)

The pupa stage is one of the coolest stages of a butterfly’s life.  As soon as a caterpillar is done growing and they have reached their full length/weight, they form themselves into a pupa, also known as a chrysalis.  From the outside of the pupa, it looks as if the caterpillar may just be resting, but the inside is where all of the action is.  Inside of the pupa, the caterpillar is rapidly changing.
Now, as most people know, caterpillars are short, stubby and have no wings at all.  Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation, called ‘metamorphosis,’ to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge. Tissue, limbs and organs of a caterpillar have all been changed by the time the pupa is finished, and is now ready for the final stage of a butterfly’s life cycle.
As a teenager, I was always troubled emotionally, I felt nobody truly understood me. School was difficult, I was ridiculed by my peers, felt I was ugly and fat, that I was weird and alone in the world, that my thoughts were so misunderstood that I was a creature like none other. My mother would always say others were jealous of me, my father didn't know how to handle me. I didn't trust my friends, some for good reasons, others because of those few that I had reason to mistrust. I therefore protected myself by not opening up because when I did I trusted too much and was let down every time. I was raped when I was 13 because I trusted too much. I began to think that I was no good to men except for one thing because nobody understood me or my thinking. I thought that God and my family abandoned me. My later teens I turned to drugs and alcohol, it helped me not to think or feel. I stopped feeling, I became numb, didn't care what happened to myself or others, I used a lot of people, I hurt a lot of people... I became what I hated most about my peers in school. I regret a lot, wish I could fix them. But not all things could be fixed and what I realized is that who it hurt the most was myself. I had a lot of broken pieces, open wounds, wounds that were gaping that never healed. I realize that most people get equipped to deal with life in  this stage inwardly, that is the growth period for this time. Some know how to deal with it, while others.... well, others have a lot more to prepare for. My path was only the beginning.....