The Third Stage: Pupa (Chrysalis)

The pupa stage is one of the coolest stages of a butterfly’s life.  As soon as a caterpillar is done growing and they have reached their full length/weight, they form themselves into a pupa, also known as a chrysalis.  From the outside of the pupa, it looks as if the caterpillar may just be resting, but the inside is where all of the action is.  Inside of the pupa, the caterpillar is rapidly changing.
Now, as most people know, caterpillars are short, stubby and have no wings at all.  Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transformation, called ‘metamorphosis,’ to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge. Tissue, limbs and organs of a caterpillar have all been changed by the time the pupa is finished, and is now ready for the final stage of a butterfly’s life cycle.
As a teenager, I was always troubled emotionally, I felt nobody truly understood me. School was difficult, I was ridiculed by my peers, felt I was ugly and fat, that I was weird and alone in the world, that my thoughts were so misunderstood that I was a creature like none other. My mother would always say others were jealous of me, my father didn't know how to handle me. I didn't trust my friends, some for good reasons, others because of those few that I had reason to mistrust. I therefore protected myself by not opening up because when I did I trusted too much and was let down every time. I was raped when I was 13 because I trusted too much. I began to think that I was no good to men except for one thing because nobody understood me or my thinking. I thought that God and my family abandoned me. My later teens I turned to drugs and alcohol, it helped me not to think or feel. I stopped feeling, I became numb, didn't care what happened to myself or others, I used a lot of people, I hurt a lot of people... I became what I hated most about my peers in school. I regret a lot, wish I could fix them. But not all things could be fixed and what I realized is that who it hurt the most was myself. I had a lot of broken pieces, open wounds, wounds that were gaping that never healed. I realize that most people get equipped to deal with life in  this stage inwardly, that is the growth period for this time. Some know how to deal with it, while others.... well, others have a lot more to prepare for. My path was only the beginning.....

The Second Stage: The Larva (Caterpillar)

When the egg finally hatches, most of you would expect for a butterfly to emerge, right?  Well, not exactly.  In the butterfly’s life cycle, there are four stages and this is only the second stage.  Butterfly larvae are actually what we call caterpillars. Caterpillars do not stay in this stage for very long and mostly, in this stage all they do is eat.   

When the egg hatches, the caterpillar will start his work and eat the leaf they were born onto. This is really important because the mother butterfly needs to lay her eggs on the type of leaf the caterpillar will eat – each caterpillar type likes only certain types of leaves. Since they are tiny and can not travel to a new plant, the caterpillar needs to hatch on the kind of leaf it wants to eat.   

Caterpillars need to eat and eat so they can grow quickly. When a caterpillar is born, they are extremely small. When they start eating, they instantly start growing and expanding.  Their exoskeleton (skin) does not stretch or grow, so they grow by “molting” (shedding the outgrown skin) several times while it grows.
When I was little I talked to my mom about angels. I would ask her questions, like "What is an angel?" "What are they like?" "What do they look like?" "Are they here with us?". My mom found out that I would sit and talk to my guardian angel. I know this sounds strange to most people or that they think that I had an imaginary friend. Often times we explain things around us that seem strange or unbelievable by their non-existence. I believe that the human mind is capable of many great things and we disassociate with them because other parts of our mind can't process them, coming from that we don't use our whole brain simultaneously. That's why I find autism to be so interesting, but that is another story for another day.
I bring what I am calling "The Angel Encounter" up for one reason. How and why we raise our children to believe is the very being they will become regardless of how we might feel as adults about our past. When we are young (under 10) is our most impressionable time in our lives, so whatever happens in that time is our cause and effect for the rest of our lives. I became a deep thinker because my mom allowed me to think through every situation for my self, she answered questions but then asked me to interpret situations from my own perspective. My mother laid out an environment that I grew off of. That supported who I was to become as an adult and what built a foundation for the things that I would have to go through to pull me through for the future. It was my strength.